In my last blog I mentioned that recently there was an advertisement in our local newspaper. The call was for “the worst drivers on the Island” to self-nominate for a new reality TV show. A short list of the “successful” candidates would be compiled and those people would be called in for an interview. No doubt the interview would look for more than simple bad driving skills – reality TV tends to want exaggerated representative versions of modern society.

This morning I received an e-mail from my friend, whom I call CTV. He’s not a reality show. The name reflects his passion – he is the Charlottetown Traffic Vigilante.

CTV wrote the following:

Hey, did you see that ad in the paper – they want the worst drivers to be on TV! Why are they wasting money interviewing? I can give them a list right now. It’s kind of like that fellow on TV – here’s my Top 10 “Worst drivers I’ve seen in Charlottetown over the last 4 days” list.

10. The lady in the white Chevy Blazer, registration X?*2# … when it says “No parking – Fire Lane” outside the CIBC on University, it means everybody, not everybody except you!
11. The ding dong who drives a blue Ravi, T?*#9, when you’re turning on to North River Road during rush hour you should wait for a gap that’s larger than a car length, not accelerate out and hope everyone else will stop.
12. The lady in the grey Tundra R?*2#2 – I know it makes an annoying clicking noise and the little flashing light on the dashboard can be a distraction, but the indicator really helps instead of just slowing down and turning left across the street.
13. The guy with the Dodge van, U?*5#, the reason it says “right turn only” as you leave Shoppers on university is because then you don’t have to sit there holding up everyone behind you as you wait to try and cross 4 lanes of traffic so you can turn left.
14. The lady in the black Ion, U?*7#, that middle colour on a traffic light is yellow and when you see it you are supposed to stop, it doesn’t mean you should accelerate across Capital Drive up by the Mounties and hope the person turning right on to Maypoint will slam on his brakes and stop for you.
15. The person who drives the blue Dodge Caravan Y?*3#, what possessed you to simply stop on University Avenue down by Beanz to drop off a passenger, and then talk to him through the window for 4.5 minutes while cars piled up behind you?
16. Mr Pizza delivery person in the grey Chevy Cavalier R?*0#, that big word on the red sign says S T O P not “slow down a little bit” and then gun it.
17. The car transport driver who was bringing the lady’s van to her home on Allen, why park parallel to the curb when you can back into her driveway and then pull forward so your flatbed is completing blocking the road while you unload her van off the back?

 

2. The two young men in the grey Santa Fe, T?*0#, the reason the sign says “40” is because Parkside Drive is a residential street not a drag racing track.

And the winner is …

1. The person who parked the blue Sunfire Y?*3# not only on the cross-hatched lines but right underneath the “No Parking” sign outside the Bank of Montreal on Grafton …

Cheers, CTV.

PS I wish the reality TV show people all the best in their selection process.

So there you have it. A brief indication of what one person observed over a four day period in one small city on the Gentle Island. And don’t get me going about the tractors on the highway, or the potato trucks leaving 6 inches of red mud everywhere, or the Road Traffic Stop Sign Guy who suddenly turned around, put his sign over his shoulder and started walking away from the line of cars that had been stopped by his sign, leaving them unsure whether or not to go and then further confusing the issue by twirling his sign so it kept switching between ‘stop’ and ‘drive slowly’ and people were stuttering and shuddering all the way up the road. But that’s not really a driver story, so I’ll leave that for another blog.

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